Motivation Monday: Facing the Unknown

11pm . . . 2:12am . . . 4:31am . . . 5:17am . . . Okay. I’m up.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m HIGHLY uncomfortable with uncertainty, which is really crazy because having children and just living life in general is a sure guarantee for craziness at some point.

2 weeks ago my 5-year-old was playing around with his older brother. He lost his footing and fell head first onto the corner of a bench in their playroom. Immediately he had a giant gumball sized knot (looked like a basketball to me)  swell up between the bridge of his nose and his eyebrow. He screamed. I cried. My kids stared. Thankfully, my husband intervened and got some ice to reduce the swelling. It worked. By the next day the gumball was considerably smaller,  but it was at least 7 days before he no longer looked like some strange kid living in our home.

Why am I not used to this by now? We have a house full of boys. They wrestle. They fall off of things. They run around 24 hours a day whether inside or out. They climb trees, higher. . .higher . . .no, let’s go just high enough so we’d only break a bone if we fell, but nothing too serious. Everyday is truly an adventure in” let’s see if we can cause mom’s heart to drop just one more time”. I know they don’t really think this way, but from where I’m sitting, that’s what it feels like.

So, last week when my son was napping,  I noticed a slightly raised area near his brow where he’d fallen, so I ran my finger lightly across the area to check it. Was that a small piece of bone protruding? Seriously? Of course I shift into doctor mode. I’m on the internet looking up pics of facial anatomy. I’m looking at him and then back at the picture. Sinuses? No cartilage. Okay, no, bone. ACK!!!! I couldn’t tell. So, I go grab my husband and make him come into the room and look at our son. “What is that? “I ask pointing toward his face, already fidgeting around because I’m keenly aware of uncertainty’s presence in the room.  My husband shrugs his shoulders, leans in closer and rubs his finger across the protrusion. “I’m not sure what that is, but he’ll be fine”.

Umm. That’s not the answer I was looking for. You’re a guy, a boy, a male. Tell me that you did the exact same thing when you were his age and that you know with every ounce of certainty in your body that he is perfectly fine.

So then I call my dad. Another guy, boy, a male.

“Hey Dad, there’s this protrusion thing  just under the skin of his eye. What do you think it is?”

“Oh, it’s probably just a small piece of cartilage floating around”

“Huh?? What? Um. That doesn’t make me feel any better. “Cartilage floating around? What does that mean?”

“Well,  let me take a look at it tomorrow and I’ll let you know”. I have to wait another day? The suspense is killing me here.

So, the next day Grandpa Doc (He’s not really a doctor. He just plays one on TV. Ha! Ha!) examines the area and determines a doctors visit is probably in order. (Second and third opinions before the doctor’s opinion. Truly a village effort here, my friends.)

So, that’s where I am right now. 5am on Monday morning, typing some very raw (though slightly comical as I look back) feelings about motherhood, uncertainty, and just wishing for once that life didn’t have so many bumps, twists and turns. I’ll be taking my son to the doctor in a couple of hours which I’m not looking forward to. X-rays are sure to be on the menu today. Meanwhile, our little patient, climbed into our bed during the night and is now snuggled comfortably between my husband and me. It’s amazing how our children are able to rest in uncertainty. They generally don’t worry like we do. Their faith is in tact. I’m pretty sure that’s why JESUS said that we are to be like little children. They get it.

My prayer this morning was this:

FATHER, I trust you with all of my heart, but today, I’m not feeling like that’s very much. I’m trusting YOU to take the little that I have to give today and turn it into something great. Help me to walk in uncertainty and remember that YOU have it all under control.

Here’s hoping you’ll have the strength to look uncertainty in the eyes today without flinching!

Keep doin’ what you love, my friends!

Shannon

UPDATE:  x-rays were NOT required. Whew! The doctor said it was calcified scar tissue from the original injury that should disappear within a month or two. Thank you so much for your lovely comments and encouraging emails and support. Big hugs!!!

For the winner of last week’s giveaway, click here.
Motivation Mondays is a series that I started to share encouragement with moms. I use my past struggles as well as triumphs as a backdrop for my writing in the hope that just as others have helped me along the way, my readers will find something beneficial to carry along with them throughout their week. I believe that community is important as well as honesty and transparency.Want to chat? Send me an email: littlekidsgrow (a) gmail (dot) com. My welcome mat is always at the door.

 

  • Tamika

    Thanks so much for sharing this Shannon. I was just thinking yesterday about how our work as mothers never seems to be done. I was super tired yesterday, but my husband wasn’t feeling well and the kids were irritable at times. I just wanted to ball up in a corner and sleep. Lol. I’m so glad God gives us exactly what we need to make it through each day. I hope all is well with your little guy.

    • Shannon_CC

      You’re welcome, Tamika! I hope you’ve been able to get some rest and that hubby and babies are better.

  • http://twitter.com/CallAjaire Call Ajaire

    I’m sure you’re so nervous. I know I would be. I’m very fortunate that our little girl is overly cautious, but even still they all take their tumbles don’t they. Good luck to you today. I’ll be thinking of you guys.

    • Shannon_CC

      Thank you, Ajaire! Congratulations on winning the giveaway!

  • http://twitter.com/CallAjaire Call Ajaire

    Ooh and I just realized I won the Pinterest followers giveaway! Thank you!

  • louise

    No way! SOoooo???? how did the Dr visit go??? On Thursday night my son jumped down some stairs, landed on slick concrete, fell backyards and hit his head on the concrete steps. And of course started screaming! My husband almost knocked people over getting to him! Me on the other hand, rushed over too, but was holding back tears. WHen he screams like that I get that knot in my stomach and don’t know what do to. On the way home, we drove by a hospital and I was like you sure we don’t need to stop in??? We’re right here??? The kiddo screamed the whole way home until Daddy got ice on it when we got home! Daddy’s and ice! His huge bump turned from what seemed like a baseball into a marble by morning. OK, I’m on pins and needles to hear how everything turned out today with your son!

    • Shannon_CC

      The doctor pinched, squeezed, and twisted his little nose, did an eye test, and then looked in his ears to check for blood from the head injury. He then had him walk around, checked his reflexes, etc. He said that everything was absolutely fine and that the sharp protrusion that we felt was from hardened blood, dead fat (wuh?) that calcified after the injury. I was absolutely amazed. How he got all of that from moving his nose around, I’ll never know, but I was very impressed and SO very thankful. (Hope your little man is feeling a lot better.)

  • Suzanne Winter

    I am so happy that he didn’t need x-rays and will be fine… it is so hard when our babies are hurt and we don’t know ‘exactly what they need. I feel like part of God’s grace is putting people in our lived who don’t worry the same way we do… they may worry about other things and then we get to be the nonchalant voice of reason for them. I hope to grow with the faith of a child – and if God wanted to give me back some of their energy, I’d take that too. Huge hugs mama!

    • Shannon_CC

      Ha! Ha! Had to laugh about the energy, Suzanne. Oh, to have the energy of a 2-year-old or even a 10-year-old would be great. I totally agree with your thoughts on GOD’s grace and balance in relationships (husbands, best friends, etc) The trade offs are nice when one can balance the other. My husband is definitely the calmer one when it comes to our kids. Is that a mom thing? Has to be!

  • http://www.facebook.com/karly.nelson Karly Nelson

    I’m so glad he didn’t need x-rays too! I totally know where you’re coming from! Last year not only did my son have multiple bike accidents (always wearing a helmet but still scraping up his face) but he also tripped into the corner of our tv stand and his eye was bleeding. Luckily he smacked his brow bone and not his eye, but all the way to the emergency room I was having nightmares of how his life was going to be with only one eyeball. And yes, I agree with the moms being the worrywarts! The eyeball thing did have my husband spooked, but definitely not anywhere near my level! :D

    • Shannon_CC

      Oh, wow, Karly! I’m so glad your son is okay. A bleeding eye??? My heart jumps just thinking about it. When my 5-year-old went outside to play today, I knelt down and looked at him in the eyes and made him promise he’d be extra careful outside. Ha! Ha! I know that it won’t last any farther than the front door, but I’m trying :).

  • Simple Simon and Co

    I love this post—uncertainty and I aren’t the best of friends either—seriously. I always want to know the end from the beginning—in everything. I even read the last page of any book before I start to read it…

    I’m glad your guy need x-rays. And I’m glad I’m not the only mom who worries like crazy about her kids.
    -liZ

    • Shannon_CC

      Ahhh, what would life be like if we could take worry out of the equation? (Nope. You’re not the only one, Liz.)