When I had my twin girls 10 years ago, I experienced a range of emotions. Would I make a good mom? How would I teach not one but two girls to become awesome women when I still battled my own insecurities from time to time? I was honestly afraid that when the time came, I wouldn’t be able to articulate what it meant to be beautiful.
Over the years my own idea of beauty had changed. I’d long moved away from the exterior definition because time, painful experiences, self-evaluation and just plain old reality, taught me that chasing an elusive “ideal” only leads to more insecurity, disenchantment, and even self-loathing. Who wants to be miserable? I sure don’t! But, it’s one thing to know what beauty “is not”, and another thing to be able to explain what real beauty is. How do you define beauty in a tangible quantitative way (especially to young girls) that promotes self-acceptance and healing when what we see everyday in the media is blaring the opposite: artificiality, perfectionism, and gender competition on so many levels?
“Wear this and you’ll look better than her. ”
“Wrinkles are BAAAADDD. Aging is even worse!”
“Take this pill. Get that injection. Use this cream extracted from a super melon found only on the south side of the Pachooka stream in the Amazon Rainforest” (Ha! Ha! Okay. I made that last one up. But there is an infomercial out there that’s similar. You know the one I’m talking about, don’t you?)
In our house, gift wrap is code for how we present ourselves to others. Now that my girls are rapidly moving out of their little girliness and into the uncharted territory of womanhood in all its facets, I find that my biggest battle is teaching them to reign in that elusive definition of beauty and make it their own. We started using the term gift wrap when the girls began to ask questions about clothing styles and why we taught them that certain things were not appropriate. Too short. Too Tight. Ummm, just “no”!.
In a nutshell, this is what we said:
You are a gift. (GOD’s Creation), and every time you wrap that gift, whether it be the clothes you wear, the thoughts you think, or even the words you say, you are showing the world around you how you value yourself and how you value GOD. And, if you don’t value yourself, you can’t expect anyone else to either. Other people will always have their opinions, but don’t let your neglect or lack of consideration for yourself put a cheap price tag on something that is invaluable.
I believe that this is where true beauty begins.
If you have big girls, then I’m sure you can relate. If you still have little ones, get your definitions ready. Explaining time will be here before you know it!
No one wants to receive a gift wrapped in cheap newspaper and brown masking tape, even if there’s a diamond inside.
Let’s continue to value ourselves and teach our young girls to do the same!
Join me tomorrow for Tutorial Tuesdays and Working with Slippery Fabrics.
Keep doin’ what you love,
Motivation Mondays is a series that I started to share encouragement with moms. I use my past struggles as well as triumphs as a backdrop for my writing in the hope that just as others have helped me along the way, my readers will find something beneficial to carry along with them throughout their week. I believe that community is important as well as honesty and transparency.Want to chat? Send me an email: littlekidsgrow (a) gmail (dot) com. My welcome mat is always at the door.