Motivation Mondays: Mom Truth

The Confession
There are many days when I wonder if my children are going to turn out okay because in my mind, there are certain qualities that go with being a successful mother and wife that I’m not overly enthusiastic about. Take homemaking for example. I do what’s necessary to make it work, but I’m just not really into it. As I’m typing this post, I have dirty dishes in the sink, a pile of clothes in the laundry room that never seems to disappear, and I haven’t planned dinner for this evening because, well, I really don’t like to cook. I’d love to blame it on having a newborn and being super duper tired, which I am, but I can’t.

Motherhood is one of those “on the job” training careers (yes, career, honey), that no matter how smart you are, talented you are, or even how good you are with people (little or big), everyone begins the journey at ground zero. There’s no yard stick by which to measure ourselves and it’s useless comparing ourselves to someone else (even our own mothers) because they don’t have our unique child, our unique life, or our perspective. Suffice it to say, I realized a long time ago, that I don’t have enough hands, stamina, patience, or hours in the day to ever feel like I’ve lived up the the “mommy standard” that I still struggle with in my head.

But here’s the great news! If you’ve been given the opportunity to mother another human being, and you’ve stepped up to the challenge, then you have the resources (the gumption, my grandparents would say) inside of you, to make it work. We may not always know what to do in every situation and sometimes we drop the ball or make things up as we go along, and that’s okay. Ultimately, being a good mother is about the heart, not an ideal.

Motherhood isn’t just about our child’s growth, it’s about our own. (I believe that’s why GOD makes us all start from scratch). It’s about shedding light on our fears of failure and then finding that we have the courage to push through the obstacles and succeed. It’s learning that there’s more to life than having things “our way” and then having the patience to accept our children when “their way” is all they see. It’s finding out that true love for another human being is less about emotion and so much more about sacrifice. It’s hurting when they hurt, rejoicing when they rejoice, and unselfishly pushing them past yourself, so that they can find their own way.

I may not be the ideal homemaker, but I’d like to believe that having all the laundry done is a minute detail in the greater scheme of things. I’m always hopeful that it’s my strengths and love that will feed our children’s creative spirits, kind hearts, and determination to live their best lives.

I’ll probably always struggle a little with what I see as inadequacies as a mother on my part, but I guess a little insecurity is not so bad. It makes me try harder to be better which is a good thing for our kids to see.

Do you ever wonder if you’re getting it right as a mother? How do you manage those feelings?

Have a great week everyone!
Keep doin’ what you love.
Shannon

6 Comments

  • The WinterSewstice says:

    Shannon, I always enjoy your Motivation Mondays. Insecurities in motherhood only last as long as they’re under your roof, when they grow up and venture out on their own, then you can look back and see the fruitage of your hands. And no matter how hard they try to deviate from being like mom and dad, it’s inevitable, because someone can ALWAYS see those traits in them (and they will began to see them in themselves) and remind them just how much they’re like their parents. And when you’ve done your best, when you’ve put your heart and soul into training them to be the best they can be, somewhere down the line they reflect on your efforts and appreciate them. Then they have the heart (gumption, because it’s not always easy to speak from the heart) to tell you how much they appreciate what you’ve done for them. I always wanted to be like my mother, and I thought I was until I got older and started hanging around my father more, that I began to see him in myself. This was not the way I was supposed to be. But then when I gave it some thought, it’s actually not a bad way to be. I can see some of my father’s personality in me with my own spin on it. I’m not missing anything from my mother, cause it’s always been there, but my dad? Hummmmm it makes me laugh. I enjoyed seeing my son grow up, and if I could do it all over again, I really don’t know how much I would do differently. I am more than grateful to our Creator that I had the experience and opportunity to experience motherhood. I did it in some ways that I imagined, and in many times (in the descriptive words of Arsenio Hall)…there were things that made me put my index finger to my temple and go hummmmmmmmm.
    Enjoy!

    • Shannon_CC says:

      Winter Sewstice (Sorry, I’m not sure what name to call you). You are so wonderful to share your wisdom and experiences.(Your Arsenio Hall reference cracked me up!) Thank you.

  • louise says:

    Too funny, as I sit here reading this, My kitchen is a wreck. we cooked dinner nad everything is just left all over the kitchen. There’s a huge pile of clean up unfolded laundry piling downstairs… I’m so bad at keeping house! but it seems like I’m always picking up something! But is it a super clean house, or a house full of creativity and love more important. My husband wavers between the two! Ha! 🙂 Love you!

  • Judith says:

    “Dirty dishes?!” “Piles of laundry?!” “Don’t like to cook?!” Clutching my pearls and grabbing my smelling salts. Seriously, Shannon, I have no doubts that you are raising fine children and you make your husband proud.

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