There are many days when I wonder if my children are going to turn out okay because in my mind, there are certain qualities that go with being a successful mother and wife that I’m not overly enthusiastic about. Take homemaking for example. I do what’s necessary to make it work, but I’m just not really into it. As I’m typing this post, I have dirty dishes in the sink, a pile of clothes in the laundry room that never seems to disappear, and I haven’t planned dinner for this evening because, well, I really don’t like to cook. I’d love to blame it on having a newborn and being super duper tired, which I am, but I can’t.
Motherhood is one of those “on the job” training careers (yes, career, honey), that no matter how smart you are, talented you are, or even how good you are with people (little or big), everyone begins the journey at ground zero. There’s no yard stick by which to measure ourselves and it’s useless comparing ourselves to someone else (even our own mothers) because they don’t have our unique child, our unique life, or our perspective. Suffice it to say, I realized a long time ago, that I don’t have enough hands, stamina, patience, or hours in the day to ever feel like I’ve lived up the the “mommy standard” that I still struggle with in my head.
But here’s the great news! If you’ve been given the opportunity to mother another human being, and you’ve stepped up to the challenge, then you have the resources (the gumption, my grandparents would say) inside of you, to make it work. We may not always know what to do in every situation and sometimes we drop the ball or make things up as we go along, and that’s okay. Ultimately, being a good mother is about the heart, not an ideal.
Motherhood isn’t just about our child’s growth, it’s about our own. (I believe that’s why GOD makes us all start from scratch). It’s about shedding light on our fears of failure and then finding that we have the courage to push through the obstacles and succeed. It’s learning that there’s more to life than having things “our way” and then having the patience to accept our children when “their way” is all they see. It’s finding out that true love for another human being is less about emotion and so much more about sacrifice. It’s hurting when they hurt, rejoicing when they rejoice, and unselfishly pushing them past yourself, so that they can find their own way.
I may not be the ideal homemaker, but I’d like to believe that having all the laundry done is a minute detail in the greater scheme of things. I’m always hopeful that it’s my strengths and love that will feed our children’s creative spirits, kind hearts, and determination to live their best lives.
I’ll probably always struggle a little with what I see as inadequacies as a mother on my part, but I guess a little insecurity is not so bad. It makes me try harder to be better which is a good thing for our kids to see.
Do you ever wonder if you’re getting it right as a mother? How do you manage those feelings?
Have a great week everyone!
Keep doin’ what you love.