Hello, My Name Is . . .Not Perfect

[yellow_box] Hi everyone! Today’s post is not sewing related.  I’m linking up with Kerry from My Life (His Mission) and Kerrie from The William’s Post   for “Hello My name is”. We were asked to share how GOD has changed our name. This is a small piece of my story.  [/yellow_box]

Hello My Name Is
 

I’m not perfect.

But, ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to be. When you’re “perfect”, people can’t judge you. Men can’t hurt you. The pain of past mistakes and fears are forever banished by the illusion that all is well.

I know that these words aren’t true, but for a long time, this is how I lived my life — a shell. Broken. Always trying to tape up and paint over the cracks, so that people wouldn’t see how fragile I was.

Abuse is . . . abuse. Whatever the kind. Whomever it comes from. Whatever the shade of dominance.

I lost my voice. My heart’s voice, for years.  Silenced by the pain of rejection. And fear.  Docility becoming my modus operandi.

This is where I learned that GOD loves me,  I mean truly loves me. . . when I was at the bottom of faith’s hill scrambling for the dredges of my identity, shaking my fist toward heaven, demanding tangibility. More than a name. More than a story. More than a “feel good” song.

“I can’t break these chains! LORD [if YOU are real], show me YOUR hand!”

I’m thankful that GOD never ignores the cry of the broken-hearted and forgives us for our impetuousness. I am saved by HIS grace, alone, a sinner once removed.

I asked GOD to give me my voice back. HE gave me a pen and paper.  Every word that now drips from the tip of my pen  is one more note added to the beautiful melody that is now my life.  I can’t NOT write. I can’t NOT share. HE is real. My story, my redemption is proof. The great conductor of our soul is just waiting on us to remember who HE is, and believe.

No more cracks. No more broken shells. Through CHRIST I am free from the mess and chains of my past. I am whole again.

GOD has given me new names: Freedom, Power, Strength and Joy.

 

 

 

 

13 Comments

  • amy mayen says:

    That is BEAUTIFUL. Really beautiful!

  • Kerrie Williams says:

    Beautifully said Shannon. I love God’s capability to take us where we were and bring us into a place that is the complete opposite on the spectrum. From fear, brokenness to strength, freedom, power, and joy! Only an all-powerful all-loving God can do that. 🙂 Thank you for linking up with us today!

  • Iris says:

    I’m glad he’s given you back your voice. It’s beautiful and powerful!

  • Alyce Rodriguez says:

    Very moving! What an awesome sister in Christ you are!

  • Bonnie Ferguson says:

    What a beautiful testimony, Shannon! This is a blog comment, so I should make it short, huh? I’m wrapping up a busy night of work (this is a crazy time of year for my little design business). I opened up my Instagram and saw one of your pictures and thought, “I should go read her blog!” I’ve only ever stopped in before during PR&P. I’m so glad that I did because it was such a huge blessing to read this, and I’m excited to go to bed now with, “Hello, My name is child of the One True King!” running through my head!

  • Priscilla McKnight-Randle says:

    Inspiring. I remember spending time with you on campus at Baylor, in “HV” (Heavenly Voices) – in awe of your anointed voice – on the outside looking in. Thank you for sharing your journey. I too was broken, trying to find my way – but didn’t even know where to look…..so I looked externally – at everything. But God is so gracious, that even when we are “lost” – He knows right where we are.

    • Shannon_CC says:

      You’re so special to me, Ms. Priscilla. “HV” (Heavenly Voices) was a loooooong time ago, huh? It’s hard to believe that it’s been over 20 years. Amazing how time flies.

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